Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Getting it off my chest

Sometimes, I'd really like to say things that, in reality, I really shouldn't.  Every once in awhile I do run my mouth and end up in trouble for it.  I feel bad for getting in trouble, but I generally don't feel bad about what I say, because it needs to be said - just no one else wants to say it.

Right now, I want to say what many people in our family want to say - GET OUT.  Who do I want to get out?  Another relative.  Possibly two.  And where do I want them out of?  My grandfather's house.

Now, I've been told to keep my mouth shut or I'll be the bad guy.  Quite honestly, I.  DON'T. CARE.  The things is, my grandfather wants him (or them, if that becomes the case) out of his house.  He just is too nice to say it.  The thing is, this other relative is 100% freeloading.  He pays nothing.  He smokes in my grandfather's house after being told not to multiple times. My grandfather doesn't even go back in the back two rooms of his house (last I heard) because of the state that this relative leaves them in.  Now, this relative is fifty years old.  He should know better.  My six year old knows better!  But instead, he freeloads.  Pays no bills, eats my grandfather's food.  Doesn't respect my grandfather's rules.  And to top it off, has now invited another relative to live there as well.  Or rather, she's just supposed to visit.  But when she was sent a message asking if she was going to stay there, she didn't respond it it.  Yet I know she's on Facebook because she's updating her status.  She and I had a chat before she went out there.  I told her that not one single member of the family would support her moving in there.  That my grandfather didn't even want the other relative there, and had said as much to two other relatives, one of whom relayed it to me.  She promised me she was not  moving in there.  But now that she's not answering e-mails, the rest of the family agrees that she probably is.  One of the other family members who has a stake in my grandfather's well-being (not monetary, purely  because he loves him) also flat out asked her if, since the first relative is apparently moving out, if she was moving out with him.  The question was not answered.

So here is what I want to say - Grandpa DOES NOT WANT YOU LIVING WITH HIM.  He has the right to his house as he wants it.  Unless he actually says the words "I want you to come and move in with me" do not take him not saying "Get out" as him actually wanting you to stay.  He likes visits.  Not permanency.  Grandpa deserves his own space, his own house, what he wants.  He worked hard for many years.  Grandma's death did not mean "hey freeloading family members!  Come move on in!"  If you weren't allowed to move in while Grandma was alive, why would you  be allowed to move in now?  I love my grandmother dearly, and I miss her a lot.  However, anyone that knew her will admit that my grandfather put up with a lot from her.  She had her own issues that my grandfather was very patient with.  Grandpa deserves his peace, quiet and his own house.  By himself and with whomever he chooses.

And guess what, freeloading relatives?  He didn't choose you.  He just doesn't know how to tell you that.  But how do I know he didn't choose you?  Because he does complain to other relatives that freeloading relative #1 won't move out.  And so the rest of the family is trying to figure out how to a) try and prevent free loading relative #2 from actually moving in and b) support him in getting his backbone and telling freeloading relative #1 to move out.

Sadly, freeloading relative #1 is someone  I should have respect for.  But don't due to his behaviour.  And all I can say to freeloading relative #2 is that she's become an incredibly disappointment to at least three people I can name off the top of my head - myself included.  Sad, sad, sad.

I can only hope the two of them grow up and move out.

1 comment:

  1. Asalaamu Alaikum

    I should send my mother over. I only stayed with her for 3 days with my family and she told me to get out and that's when I just got back from Malaysia and had no place to go. You could tell them to get out and just have grandpa stand beside you. He doesn't have to say anything just be physically there. Man a 50 yr old freeloader...sheesh! Would he mind if the guy actually paid something or does he just want him out? I think if he did pay it would not be for long though. Just my hunch. Hope everything works out. Old people needs their tranquility.