Friday, 2 March 2012


(yes, I know I used their real names.  No, it wasn't a mistake.)

Just so you all can join me, every time I use that word as a title for something, or a single word, I continue to sing the song from Cats in my head.  Please, join me in singing about memories, moonlight, street lights and whatever else those bizarre over grown felines of Andrew Lloyd Webber were singing about!


It's amazing how, for as much as things change, they also stay the same.

I spent nearly an hour sitting in our large comfy chair this evening with Declan asleep in my arms.  His head was resting in the crook of my elbow, my arms were around him as his legs hung over the side of the chair.  I sat like that long after my elbow cramped up because I realize how short these days are.  Camden is now tall enough that I can't sit like that with him anymore.  He no longer fits sideways in the chair, laying on my lap.  But Declan still does.

It's amazing how little, yet how much, that face has changed.  As I stared at it, the face was the same as the face that I sat and cuddled from the time he was a baby.  Probably about a month or so old.  The same nose, just bigger.  The same lips, just fuller.  And the same eye lashes.  And I swear those are longer.  He has the most amazingly long light red eye lashes.

One of the things that has changed the most, however, are the freckles.  I remember when he first started sprouting them.  Just a tiny little sprinkling across the bridge of his nose.  But as his hair got lighter and redder (well, more orange), his whole face gathered freckles.  I used to tease him that he had peanut butter tasting freckles and carrot tasting hair.  I'd ask him if I could have his freckles because I loved them so much but he'd always tell me "no!  They're mine!"  The one thing I've wanted for him is to have self confidence even in the things that set him apart - like the colour of his hair and the massive amount of freckles.  Both things he is very proud of now.

He still has the same little sighs in his sleep.  And he is still so very cuddly.

Eventually, I had to put him on the couch (can't carry him up the stairs anymore) because my arm just couldn't take it anymore.  But part of me didn't want to put him down because I know that time is coming to an end.  I know I'm lucky - I have two growing boys who get upset with me when I don't give them a hug or kiss before I or they leave, even if it's in front of their friends or other people.  I know by Camden's age that many boys don't want their Mom's to kiss them in public.  In fact, one of his friends chastised him one day for doing just that.  Camden, however, has enough self confidence to completely ignore that.  I know I'm lucky to still have boys that want to cuddle.  But I still dread the day where it will come to an end.

I know it won't be a sudden end, where it will just end.  It will be a gradual decline until one day I'll just realize that I haven't been sitting and cuddling with him in awhile.  And at some point I know that they will eventually not be demanding a "huggie-kissie" before I leave them.  I also know that the day is quickly approaching where I will be nothing more than an embarrassment to them.  But for now, I'll take all the cuddles I can get, and I'll remember when I'm feeling like I don't have time to stop and cuddle because I'm busy with something that I need to do it, because time is quickly moving forward, and soon all we'll both be left with is the memories.

1 comment:

  1. Memories of piggyback up the steps...
    I truely treasure time together, although recent hiking hatred, racing repulsion, walking whining - they do like to complain about '2 feet & heart beat' method of transportation! Yet afterwards, it's all good, like tossin' rocks in the lake.